ForgettableAF — Your Branding Sucks. We Fix That.

If your business name could also be

a grocery store aisle label…

You're ForgettableAF.

Welcome. Finally.

Your business is playing hide and seek. And winning.

I drove through town yesterday.

Passed a coffee shop. A hair salon. A pizza place.

I honestly couldn't tell you what any of them were called.

Neither could their customers.

There are over 33 million businesses in America.
Most have perfectly nice logos.
Perfectly nice websites.
Perfectly nice owners.
And perfectly forgettable brands.

Don't be perfectly nice.

Free Book:
How Not to Suck.

Take the 10-minute checkup. Get your personal Memorability Score — ranked from 'Memorable' to 'Who Are You Again?' — plus a free book. On us. Because denial isn't a strategy.

Take the Free Checkup → Work With Me

✓ Free ✓ No fluff ✓ Free book at the end

Why You Should Listen to Me

About the Fairy
Godmother of
Not Sucking.

My Origin Story — Less Marvel, More Marketing.

I came here as a visitor. Stayed as a mother. Worked as a Marketing Director, then General Manager, then President of the Lodging Association. I've written about this town, raised four kids in it, and buried my husband because of what happened in it.

I have seen this place from every angle a human being can see it. I know the locals. I know the tourists. I know the politics. And I still can't walk into a coffee shop here and tell you its name.

That's not an insult. That's an opportunity. And I'm the only person in this town who can see both.

Author

#1 on Kindle · 4 Titles

Producer & Director

Legendary Superstars · Casinos Across America

Hospitality

Marketing Director · GM · Lodging Association President

In This Town

20 Years · Locals. Tourists. Politics.

Advocacy

We Matter Non-Profit · Thousands of Followers

This Business

Hundreds of Logos · Songs · Videos · Stories

Stuff I Do That Doesn't Suck

Your Branding Called.
It's Boring.

Here's what's about to happen to your business. Pick your poison — or let me pick it for you.

📖

Brand Backstory

Every business has a story worth telling. I find it, shape it, and make your town know it by name.

🎵

Custom Jingles

Personalized songs that live in people's heads rent-free. Written for your brand, your voice, your customers.

🎉

Buzz Events

Ms. Mowsitall kicks grass and the whole town showed up to watch. I create the thing people can't stop retelling.

🎬

Video & Commercials

Scripted, produced, and edited by me. Real stories. Real hooks. Not stock footage.

🎙️

Podcasts & Campaigns

Have a cause or a story worth hearing? I build the audio world around it.

🔥

The Brand Roast

I tell you exactly why you're forgettable and hand you the fix. Brutal. Useful. Fast.

See Packages & Pricing →

Because Denial Isn't a Strategy

The 5 Dumbest Ways
Businesses Stay Invisible
(And Most Don't Even Know
They're Doing It)

What you're doing right now to market your business is like using a spork to save a sinking ship. You have a tool. It's technically a tool. It is absolutely not the right tool. And the ship is still sinking.

You're Blending In Like Beige Paint

Like a Chameleon in a Bowl of Oatmeal.

Your brand looks exactly like everyone else's. If your logo, colors, or vibe could belong to any business in a 30-mile radius — congratulations, you're the human version of default settings. Your business is playing hide and seek. And it's really good at it.

Your Message Is Clearly Forgettable

Like Mailing a Love Letter to "Current Resident."

You're talking, but nobody remembers a single word. Your slogan, your pitch, your about us — all giving "corporate oatmeal." People don't buy what they can't recall. And right now your message has the retention rate of a wet napkin.

You're Marketing to Everyone — Which Means No One

Like Opening a Store in the Middle of the Woods and Hoping for Foot Traffic.

Your audience isn't "people." Your audience isn't "locals." Your audience isn't "anyone who needs my service." That's not a target — that's a shrug. You're waving a flashlight at the sun and calling it advertising.

Your Content Is Inconsistent, Random, or Straight-Up Chaos

As Effective as Screen Doors on a Submarine.

One day you're inspirational. Next day you're posting a blurry photo of your lunch. Then you disappear for three weeks. Your brand has commitment issues. Your marketing is more invisible than Bigfoot wearing camouflage.

You're DIY-ing Things That Should Never Be DIY-ed

Has the Aerodynamics of a Brick. Like Teaching a Goldfish to Fetch.

Your cousin made your logo. You wrote your own tagline at 2 AM. Your website looks like it was built during a hostage situation. Your DIY branding has the aerodynamics of a brick. It was built with good intentions and zero lift. There is a better way. It starts with admitting the goldfish cannot fetch.

🌞 Like Waving a Flashlight at the Sun

🌲 Store in the Middle of the Woods

📬 Love Letter to "Current Resident"

🐾 Bigfoot in Camouflage

🚪 Screen Doors on a Submarine

🥣 Chameleon in a Bowl of Oatmeal

🧱 Aerodynamics of a Brick

🐠 Teaching a Goldfish to Fetch

Your competition is about to contact me. How fast can you type?

Take the Free Business Checkup →

Proof I'm Not Making This Up

See it.
Hear it.
Remember it.

FREE — ForgettableAF.com

The Small Business Lie

↓ Download Free → Take the Quiz First →

Preview — Hear It First

Get the Full Audiobook Free → Watch Full Version →

🎄 #1 on Kindle

The Adventures of Morey & Clyde: The Magnificent Timepiece of Tremendous Importance

Find on Amazon →

👠 Non-Fiction

Shoulders Back, Boobs Out: Walking a Mile in Grandma's Stilettos

Find on Amazon →

🖍️ Coloring Book

Gen-X vs GEN-tle Parents

Find on Amazon →

🌙 Fiction · Truth

Harvesting Ghosts & The Moon is Not the Moon

Find on Amazon →

Savannah Richardson's debut gallery show — House of Hues. Every song performed that evening was written specifically for her art and her story.

Original art prints available — shop luna23.com →

Get Me Off This Ballot

The Award Nobody
Wants to Win.

If you received a FAB Awards nomination certificate — congratulations. Kind of. You've been identified as one of the most forgettable businesses in your category.

The good news: there's still time to avoid winning. The ceremony is August 31, 2026. Request a recount. Get a free brand review. Fix it before your competitor does.

Request a Recount →

Watch Past Episodes

See who made the list. Your category may already be featured.

🏆 FAB Awards — Episode 1 Tri-Lakes Area Edition Watch → 🏆 FAB Awards — Episode 2 The Coffee Edition Watch →

Claim Your Category

One business per category. First in wins. Select yours below.

We Matter

This work funds
something bigger.

Every brand I build, every story I tell, every dollar I earn goes toward a fight that matters more than marketing. We Matter is a non-profit I founded to create third-party patient advocates — someone in the room watching what happens when a patient is at their worst and can't speak for themselves.

It started with my husband. It grew to over a thousand families who said the same thing happened to them. This isn't just a cause. It's the reason.

Visit WeMatter.life →

The Department of Forgettable Affairs

Meet Mrs. Teal.

Mrs. Teal — Department of Forgettable Affairs

MRS. TEAL — Executive Assistant

Quality Inspector & Complainer · Head of Marketing (Unpaid) · Director of the Awards Committee · Giveaway Judge · Glory Holder · Title Maintainer

Expires: Never. Because she does everything.

Hear Her Voicemail

You've reached the Department of Forgettable Affairs. Mrs. Teal speaking.

📞 To speak with Mrs. Teal directly: 417-MRS-TEAL (417-677-8325)

The Many Faces of Mrs. Teal

Mrs. Teal — Caffeine Sarcasm Bad Decisions

From the Desk of Mrs. Teal

The Mrs. Teal Desk Calendar

365 days of unsolicited opinions about your forgettable brand. One per day. Every day. Whether you asked for it or not.

Available on Amazon KDP — Print on Demand

Shop Mrs. Teal Merch →

Mrs. Teal's Current Assessment

"That's nice. Write it on a sticky note and throw it away for me."

"Call Back If You're Memorable."

"I Don't Have Time For Stupid."

"Don't Choke the Next Person Who Asks for a Logo in Comic Sans."

"Branding So Forgettable, It's Almost Criminal."

"My enthusiasm is currently on backorder."

"I've seen better concepts in a bowl of alphabet soup."

"If I wanted to listen to fiction, I'd read a book — not your marketing plan."

"Does Not Come With a Raise."

"Copies: $0.25 Each. And Your Dignity."

"Faxes Go to Die Here."

"Just Because You Can Copy Doesn't Mean You Should."

"If It's Stupid and It Works, It's Still Stupid."

"I Don't Have Time to Pretend I Like You."

"My Bowling Average Is Higher Than Your Standards."

"Don't Talk to Me Until I've Eaten This."

Free Book:
How Not to Suck.

About the Fairy
Godmother of
Not Sucking.